Gimme More - Britney Spears

Remix

Preaching the mindset of dating someone and marriage

Recently, my friend has been under some turmoil relationship wise (as if I'm not) and her boyfriend commented that he would see someone else if the right person comes along. And since then my friend has been depressive or should I say mood labile and thinking about how her boyfriend does not have any committment sense and all that. And she was going to look for another because he cannot commit.

Personally, I think that is pretty funny because the dating game has long evolutionalized into something ugly along the years. During the years when men dominated the world and women are pure slaves or possessions at men's command, men could do anything they wanted even after they have married, well, a dozen wives. But now, women are catching up and some are even surpassing our dear male sex and this have created new dilemma for our dear women counterparts. They now dread about their relationship and their future where as before, they could just cry before closed doors when they're man is having hot sex with another chick (or stud?) So has anything changed in terms of mindset? Not really. Women likes to blame men for their misfortune. I do admit many a time the men are the causes of family tragedies but if you think deeply about it, wives of those men who go out to 'have fun' are kinda at fault as well because as a partner they could not fulfil their man... (sorry girls... but its true.) So in a sense, it is the women who has not evolved or kept in pace with their men. They have forgotten an important thing about being in a relationship - versatility. The need to be dynamic about the surround changes of your relationship, to accommodate to your spouse's needs. (well, I know sometimes its not possible if you want a 20 yrs old girl when you're already 50...I acknowledge aging is a tragic thing) But still, one should find other means to fulfil each other. Perhaps people should not look forward to an everlasting relationship. It really does not exist. After all the fireworks, its about companionship and, really, a friendship.

I'm not sure if I'm being really offensive to other people but thats what I think.

Mood flucs

My mood has been unstable recently with temper tandrums flying everywhere. Good thing I've been shutting myself at home to avoid burning anyone I care about. But then, aren't freinds suppose to let me bitch and yell and kick and scream all day long when I need them? So ya, I've been feeling like shit for about a week now and its time I get my ass back up. I need to rebuild my confidence and get ready to fight like a soldier. Ya, thats what I'll do. Cooking makes me feel great so last night, I made lasagna. Yum. Maybe in tommorrow I'll bake a cake or something. I've spoken to various people and their entertaining me makes me feel human. Hopefully I can go turbo soon and rock the joint.

Cartoons I like

Lara Fabian - Je t'aime

Lara Fabian - Adagio

Calmness and serenity

Sometimes, life is just a bitch. I've accumulated enough will power to not let it steer me into a direction of darkness and anger. At times, frustration and anger can be overwhelming but I try to live on. I try to let hope give me strength so that it will continue to shine on me always. Its all about calmness and believing in serenity.

Stop waking me UP!

Um, some biotch on my floor has her alarm on every freakin' morning from 6:30am till who knows when. The damn alarm starts ringing and rings again and again and again for like hours and nobody seems to turn it off. Oh, and there are TWO!!!!! alarms!!!!! What da heck is this? What is the point of having alarm clock(S!!!!) that wakes everyone BUT YOU!? That is just ridiculous and I couldn't take it anymore and decided to post a note asking her nicely to either wake earlier or wake later and not to set the freakin' alarm at an unrealistic time where she would not be waking up! F*CK! Why do women like to be in denial... and others have to suffer for it. Gosh.

Nerdy glasses

I got new nerdy glasses to upgrade my nerdy-ness to make myself more likeable. Ya, some people think its crazy, others think it doesn't fit my look. But whatever, becoz I like it. Makes me more innocent looking though I'm not so innocent (I think). I luv innocense because at the age of 25, it just begins to slip away without you noticing.

Excuses

I hate excuses especially lame ones.

Exhaustion

When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne

What happens when you're lover forgets your special day? What would you do? Thats all I'm thinking of right now... Meanwhile, I'm selecting candidates to substitute him for the important day.

Laughing

Laughing is usually associated with happiness and silliness. But today, I laughed at a very inappropriate time, ie. during ethics class...

My classmate J who was sitting next to me all of a sudden started doodling on my notes during our meaningful ethical debate. She informed me about something peculiar about our professeur's left sock. It was ripped and with his legs crossed, it was kinda obviously showing with his trouser ends slightly pulled up. Without any particular reason, nor was the information super comical, I cracked up. I couldn't stop laughin for at least 10 minutes. I was so embarrassed but the way from my seat to the door was faraway enough to have stopped me from dashing out the door. Because by trying to escape, I would have made a scene. So I kept laughing intermittently for 10 minutes. Miss J beside me joined in the craziness with me so I was not alone.

This is not the first time something like this happened, I remember a couple of years back we were having our orientation ceremony and the department head was talking on stage and I was in the front row. After her long and meaningless speech, she attempted to step back down to go back to her seat, across from the corridor from me, but she didn't make it - she fell off the 2nd step of the stairs and landed beside, yes, my seat. And I was shocked but suddenly could not help but laugh (well, I was actually trying to not laugh out loud so I had this twitched up smile on my face) because her hair was in a mess and looked like a tornado flewby next to her. I then tried to help her up but she had this mean look on her face. (well, who could help laughin...) And then ever since she's glared at me everytime we come across each other. Trust me, if she fell again, I would laugh again but this time I'd laugh out loud.

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Hot asian body

That look, originally uploaded by Andy Loh.

Asian beauty

Asian shirtless bodybuilder, originally uploaded by anto66.

Something that is hard to come by...

Licious lickin

licking rays of sunshine, originally uploaded by emilola.

Mesmerize me please

, originally uploaded by emilola.

Why do Asians have full eyes...

Glamour

Boyd, originally uploaded by lovemongerism.

I wanna look like that one day.

Might pectoralis

, originally uploaded by emilola.

What else is there to say...

Unilateralizing my world of friends and heterogenizing the gender

My last entry seems like ages ago. Not that I have nothing to talk about, its just that I've been exploring a new world that I've neglected for a long time. No, its not drugs or alcohol or anything like that. Well, I pretty much am devoid of friends of the same gender. Ever since a major crush of my then male best friend back in highschool. I've been avoiding certain types of friendships for the most part. Perhaps its their immaturity, or perhaps I was afraid to get my heart crushed again. Despite having found myself a stable partner for the past couple of years, my life is still void of the male sex and what's worst is I have not found myself a bunch of gay friends.

I guess one does not really need to unilateralize their world of friendship but I at least want to have a sector of friends that can understand me in mind and spirit. As much as my lovely pool of hot babes and munchkins that listen to me moan about my unfortunate life every week and again, they could not understand totally what I need or want to hear. This was evidenced by my babe Moni who recently discovered, with a little bit of my help, that her brother could actually be a candidate that was willing to get into my pants (No, it has never happened... yet!) that even friends who don't mind that you're gay actually only means, well, that its your life and not theirs. Moni was totally ok when I first came out to her and we had lots of fun talking about my gay life and her not so gay life that was also full of drama. But when we accidentally stumbled over her brother's love life she wasn't as accepting then. How did she find out? Well, it was coz she was being nosy and found that her brother had a lusty SMS message in his phone. Thinking it was a hot chick and all, she went to find out who it was. And our little hunt revealed that it was not a hot chick with big titties but a hot dude. I was kinda thrilled because I always had the funny feeling that her brother was just too into pumping up for his own good. And he actually loves working at Banada Republic (brandname clothes store under Gap Inc.) . Moni, on the other hand, flipped. But she's now accepted it.

Anyway, so I've been living my life with my favourite things, my textbooks and notes, and discovering the unexplored domain of gay friendships. I'm hoping once I start working I would actually start meeting some of these people. Friends of the male gender, something I've yet to conquer. Btw, its not that I don't have any guy friends, but I never tell them anything, its mostly small talk and I'm sick of giving career advice and telling them to straighten up the life. Hopefully, my crusade of heterogenizing my pool of friends will succeed. Wish me luck. But one thing I found interesting was that homosexuals do pay a lot of attention to physical appearance. (maybe I should consider working out at a gym to get a 6-pack, or maybe yoga) Another thing is that they get pissed off easily. One time, I sent this guy a message that I intended to send to someone else, he flipped and ignored me ever since. It was mostly an error of cutting and pasting. I do try to personalize my messages when I try initiating conversations, but come on how many versions of " Hey man, how're you doing?" can you come up with? Give me a break... But that guy was really hot, so I'm gonna keep trying. Haha. Ya, hopeless ass. yes yes.

Kissy

Erasure - I could fall in love with you